I am an Idiot

Note to self: do not walk into no-parking signs.

This morning after seeing patients at the JDC (Juvenile Detention Center) I was having trouble finding my parking lot. We have free resident parking a block away behind a building by some gas pumps and I think I starting walking towards the wrong set of pumps. After studying the street signs for a while I finally realized where I was and turned around… knocking the right side of my face into a metal sign. I do this kind of thing pretty frequently (accidents) but have never injured myself enough to seek medical attention.

After grabbing my eye, I realized there was some blood on my hands. It didn’t feel bad, I felt like I might have had a cut on my eyebrow so I ducked into a nearby Court building to find a bathroom and clean it off. Four guards inside graciously asked me if I needed help. Without thinking, I uncovered my eye and asked if I could find a bathroom or some gauze. After seeing my wound, one guy started shaking, asked me if I was ok and said that I should sit down. Another ran to find a first aid kit, and a third offered to call an ambulance. A woman said she saw me hit the sign and was worried about me.

So, I’m thinking “Good God, I think my eyebrow must be hanging off my face.” I put pressure on it with napkins and wondered if I could talk a colleague at the hospital into “borrowing” some Dermabond (superglue for your skin!) so I wouldn’t have to get stitches… or if it was possible to suture it closed myself. That’d actually rock.

Despite protests to move, I broke away to the bathroom to look at the damage. One of the women followed me in. I had a fairly large red mark on my cheek and a half-centimeter abrasion on my right eyebrow only worthy of a band-aid. More embarrassing if anything… I felt bad inflicting panic among such nice people, especially when one of the men said “What can I get you, Doc?” I also felt bad for having to tell them that the hydrocortisone cream in their first aid kit wasn’t the same thing as antibiotic ointment. Now that I think about it… could putting a steroid cream on an open wound possibly increase the likelihood of infection?

Thank you employees of the random courthouse I park behind! I’m sorry that I stole your only package of gauze and I hope you’re not traumatized. Thank you mostly for not laughing at me. Perhaps this election's result has inspired even more good will in us all! :-)