Thank goodness for cute young things in blankets.I was going to write some things about call but then I realized something. I can't remember! I can't remember anything! Sleep deprivation subtracts things from my memory. This frightens me. The first thing I heard when I walked into our break room was "thou shalt not fear!" Apparently someone left the TV on from the night before and this tele-evangelist lady was on. I had to smile... you kind of do get that feeling that you're an actor in some really strange tv show sometimes around here.
I've discovered something though, I think you may need a little fear. I might need a little fear... just a tiny bit so that I STAY AWAKE. I was so high on adrenaline last night that not only did I not really sleep the entire 5 hours that there were no pages and nothing to do, but I wasn't sleepy at at in morning report or noon conference the next day. And seeing the three patients admitted at 3am? No problem. Only I was kinda in this weird hazy awake-yet-forgetful-spazzed out state. Some people look great when they spazz (like Di!) but me, I look like Einstein. With the hair, without the brains.
I hope I didn't scare my med student. Med students are awesome! They just started their clinical year, and keep wanting to do really nice things for us. I think they feel bad for us with our sometimes-overwhelming scutwork and not knowing where anything is all the time. I wanted to tell them "we're fine, you should wait till your surgery rotation, we peds residents are spoiled!!" I also have this urge to shower them with positive feedback and tell them everything i know all the time. I have PTSD issues from my first third year rotation (CT Surgery) where we were pimped (questioned about our medical knowledge) mercilessly, yelled at, and made to feel like we really WERE scum. And it was true that our time was constantly wasted. My evaluation/grade from that rotation was great, but was the psychological abuse necessary? I hope I never make a med student cry. Here, our pediatrics chief resident has chocolate and hugs in her office when things get tough! :-)
What's better than chocolate and hugs? I leaned how to feed a baby last night!! It was so theraputic. Next time I freak out, I'll just drop everything and go feed babies. YAY FOR CUTE YOUNG THINGS IN BLANKETS!
2 comments:
i havent tried the baby-feeding therapy yet! i need to try that the next time things get overwhelming...
i was on CT surgery as well as a third year (it was my last rotation) and i'm pretty sure i cried 3 days per week whilst on it. i hated every minute of the hierarchy, the fear, the being talked-down-to. i was actually told "you dont speak to attendings unless you're spoken to - got it?". rat bastards. the only good thing i got out of it was that everything since then has felt like a piece of cake!!
:) see ya soon.
Man, every time I see that cat picture I cannot help but smile. His expression makes me think, "so just what the hell am I supposed to do now?!"
Post a Comment